Estimated reading time: 4 min.

Dear reader, 

Welcome back to Guiding Words.

In the previous lesson, we explored the distinction between the ego and the Self. We argued that, by cultivating a genuine spirit of curiosity, the ego can transcend its self-imposed boundaries and embrace infinity.

In this lesson, we will continue our exploration of the ego and attempt to uncover the reason behind its relentless search for meaning.

Let us begin with some Words of Art:

Why am I here?

Why am I the way I am?

Why did this happen to me?

Why, why, why…

The question why can only be asked by a sentient being because it has its source in a feeling of self-worth. "Why" is an indication of value, because there is no "why" where there is indifference.

This question is perhaps the one that homo sapiens have asked themselves the most throughout history. But the reason we can ask it is because we are conscious beings, aware of our own existence. However, that awareness—expressed as Why am I here? —intuitively leads to a deeper inquiry: Do I deserve to be? And, at its core, every search for meaning is just an attempt to answer this question in a convincing way.

From Existence to Self-Consciousness: An Origin Story

In the beginning was Existence. From Existence, consciousness was born.

The first state of consciousness was silence.

But silence was soon shattered into infinite pieces of awareness.

And in the process, the first word spoken was: “I.”

Had consciousness remained silent, there would have been no separation within Existence.

But with awareness came the birth of the ego.

And the ego’s first impulse was to justify the miracle of its own existence—to prove itself worthy of coming into being.

Hence, when the ego asks Why am I here? it is actually saying: If I am here, I must be worthy. And if I am worthy, where does that worth come from, so I can lean on it to justify my sense of self-worth?
Behind Why am I the way I am? lies the question: How can I reconcile the gap between my self-worth and the world’s judgment of my worthiness?
And to Why did this happen to me? the real inquiry is: Does this event align with my perception of myself? Do I truly deserve it?

In other words, because it is self-aware, the ego attributes value to itself and seeks external validation as a reflection of that value, trying to justify its existence by looking outward for things it perceives as equal to or greater than its own worth.

However, the very concept of self-worth is unnecessary because the intrinsic Self, around which the ego is built, is identical across all parts of Existence. Thus, constantly asking “why” becomes burdensome and meaningless, as one’s worth is not determined by "how well" or "how much" we answer that question.

Just as an artist does not need a reason to create art, and just as a painting requires different colors to reveal itself, Existence is for the sake of being and only through diversity can it perfectly explore its infinite ways of being.

Meaning, therefore, is not in seeking but in realizing that being itself is the meaning.

This concludes our lesson on the ego’s relentless search for meaning. In the next lesson, we will discuss the importance of letting go of feelings of self-importance.

See you in three days, and until then, may Serenity be upon you.

Didi

Question: After reading this lesson, do you feel more aware of the things you’ve attached your self-worth to?

Reply with a yes or no, and feel free to expand beyond two or three characters.

P.S.: I am trying to find the right words to convey my thoughts in a language that is not my own, so please pardon my mistakes and feel free to reply with any suggestions or corrections that could make this reading experience more enjoyable.

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